(don't) show me the money

ive been thinking about the whole idea of making money from writing and really i dont feel its the primary focus for me anymore even though i feel like yes of course i want to make money from my writing who wouldnt i mean im a bloody typist sitting for hours on end typing ASIC interviews where people have violated the corporations act or court cases where people have infringed things which often seem to come down to money or typing police interviews with people running clandestine laboratories making crystal meth in their second bedroom powdered shame for people to become more unthemselves or interviews with people who accidentally oops find their fingers or their penis inserted into the bodies of family members would i rather do something else like write for a living well duh what do you reckon but im not willing to go into ambition mode to get there i would rather follow the windy* path of resonation which may to the overly ambitious look like the path of resignation of uncaring of least resistance and which is patently not the case its the path where i am free i am free indeed to write stuff and do it in a way that will pay me not a cent and i am free to go down roads that might pay money and im free as the woman last night with the shaved head not competing with pantene-ed styled moisturised carefully coloured and all she needed to exchange for that freedom was vanity and the misunderstanding of the world but hey the world has the pungent reek of death about it anyway and not the sweet death unto freedom but the putrid death of refusing to see any other way but deathly safety unsafe death ambition narrow road of the spreadsheet nah give me the open road any day

and the world will misunderstand whatever road you take

but still for all that i still want to earn money from writing im just not kidding myself it would be a rose petal existence once i got there

++++++

* thats windy as in something that goes not straight but wind-ey as opposed to what it was doing last night so goddamn windy i thought the house was gonna fly off its stumps