Yoga and me and god

Yoga is not only beneficial exercise for the body, but is also good for exercising humility. I did some asanas (postures) this evening. There is nothing like getting ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR what your ultimate aim is to be reminded of how it has been almost 20 years since you last did these postures :)

It's taken me a long time to get to being able to practise yoga without it being something in conflict with my conscience. Which has felt sort of silly to me in one way, but honestly - doesn't matter how much you tell yourself you're cool with eating meat sacrificed to idols, but when it comes down to it, if there is guilt flickering its way around a situation, your best berth is a wide one. Especially if that situation involves contorting your legs over back behind your head. What you think and believe is what your reality is. Best to keep yourself out of traction if you can help it :)

I felt this conscience thing with yoga for so many years. Wondering about the "demonic" elements involved. Even though I loved doing it. Even though the benefits are so good. Yoga has two corresponding and seemingly paradoxical elements: being centred in your own body, and being forgetful of your body and yourself. Those two things, intertwined together. How very strange.

It has taken me all of this time to feel entirely comfortable with pursuing this practice. Funny, now I feel about it basically how I felt before I entered into the realms of Christianity. It's things like this that make me realise how far my fiath has come in one way, like every maturing sort of relationship where trust and comfort and just plain old knowing each other has to be fostered. Now this relationship feels so natural and magical to me considering the hoops of religion and performance I jumped through.

But I wouldn't be here if I hadn't been there. The hoops were necessary. And the same happens out the other end. I know from experience that I will one day be more able to do asanas that at this point in time are only a pipe dream. It is a good thing to remember while I am only able to reach out to grab onto my knees, when the posture is calling for lacing my fingers around my toes. But even that feels okay to me.

It's a beautiful thang :) Next week I am going to try out a place near my work. I look forward to the energy that comes with a group of people doing something together. I only hope they don't hear my grunting :)