I'm Grateful That ...

Tuesday 21 August 2012

I'm grateful that it is sunny today, and that this morning/early afternoon involved driving in it, first to my naturopath, who gave me a massage and a chiropractic adjustment.  We looked at my latest hair analysis results and she said to me, "Once you get this pyroluria and copper thing sorted out, you're going to be flying."  I like to think that I have done so much groundwork in the past, working against the grain, that once I get these latest things sorted staying healthy will suddenly seem ridiculously easy in comparison (and hopefully less expensive.  iHerb has earned $300 off me in the past month).

I'm grateful that there is a road trip to Queensland looming up ahead, after uni is finished for the year.  I'm hoping in the meantime to learn to drive a manual car so that Pikelet is not the only driver.  I'm also hoping that we can drop in here for a visit on the way to Queensland.  He inspires me.  I like to think that one day me and Pikelet could move somewhere (maybe somewhere like here, and do something even very vaguely similar  The only downside to that is leaving where we are).


I'm grateful that the days are lengthening.

I'm grateful that I've climbed a bit of the spiritual mountain.  That sounds a bit wanky, but so do heaps of other things that are nevertheless true.  It's sort of given me hope while I've been whiling around in the lower depths of hell (not that we ever really believe that the heights exist when we're in the depths.  It's like it gets erased from the memory banks and there's just a tiny leftover fragment the size of a grain to remind us that life can be good.  It's as if they are two completely different frequencies, running tandem alongside each other, and when tuned into one it's very hard to believe that there can also be another.  Still, despite everything involved in living with ill health, or living in the current visionless and depressing slave system, I never ever give up on not letting go of the tiny remembrance, no matter how tiny it grows, that it doesn't need to be like this.

I am grateful that the very best and most inspiring examples of humanity are way closer to what our true essence is than the very worst of the fucked-up narcissistic bastardry we are privy to every.  single.  day.  I am grateful to see that inspiration in action, such as in this blog post by Kel where her art, and her words, and Ms Dickenson's, combined to make something awesome and resonant.  I am grateful when I remember that our brains are wired to cooperate.  It makes you wonder, in that case, why we are so primed to compete against each other every day.  Turn on your local cable TV channel and chances are you'll see drivel that relates to people competing so that one person can win and everyone else can lose.  Win/win works much better.  Our system and those pulling the strings may not understand that, or may not care.  But our hearts do.


9 comments

  1. hope floats Sue
    hang onto it and you will rise above the crap :-)

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  2. And I'm grateful for sparkling prose that so often brightens my morning, written by a sparky word alchemist half a world away. May you take flight sooner than you think, Sue.

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  3. I've spent a lot of time with Dickinson's poems and her letters. She could soar on high but hit the deepest, morbid depressions also, some of them seeming insane. It's often asked whether great art somehow requires huge challenges in the soul. Your writing is absolutely beautiful, even if the topic is sometimes so truly painful for you, Sue

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  4. Sometimes people tell me I'm not "hard" enough...or that I care too much about other people. While I'm still learning that I need to not be so responsible for others' feelings, part of me thinks that connections, relationships, and the inherent value of a human are far more important than being hard, decisive, practical or winning. I don't know.

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  5. That's an important distinction isn't it - not taking responsibility for other's feelings is important, but not giving a shit about them is just as bad. I agree. If I had to choose a side, I would go the "softer" option. It's what the world needs.

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  6. Ahh, the old chestnut about art and suffering. I think suffering, and trying to make sense of that in a redemptive way, *is* a really good motivation. But I don't agree that it's necessary to the task. It's just easier to be lazier when you're feeling good ... and yet so often feeling good is what motivates me to write.

    Thank you Sarah, I'm blushing :)

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  7. Thanks so much, Harry. Glad this post brightened your morning :)

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  8. It does float, don't it. I'm struggling to hang onto it at times, Kel. It's a strange thing, a worn rut more than anything, that that's the case methinks. Rising above it is like self-evolution :)

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  9. Sometimes people tell me I'm not "hard" enough...or that I care too much about other people. While I'm still learning that I need to not be so responsible for others' feelings, part of me thinks that connections, relationships, and the inherent value of a human are far more important than being hard, decisive, practical or winning. I don't know.

    ReplyDelete

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