Digging for a Wormhole

Friday 10 April 2009

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I feel like that picture above. I feel like I am a picture which has been squeezed into a width that is too small and so half my letters are running out of picture. I feeling so flat and fat and depressed today. Having one of those, "Am I stuck doing work I don't like forever?" sort of questions regarding work. I have been almost two years now at a job that I do well, and I take pride in, and I get paid reasonably well for within the realms of administrative-type work. But I am bored! It is such a lonely thing to spend your days with your eyes plastered to your computer screen. I take regular snatches whenever I can to talk to my workmates, or else I would go a bit nutso.

Sigh. I don't know. I would like a job that involves working with other people, but one which needs to be flexible because I am a circadian freak and starting before 11am is not in my vocabulary. But there is very little out there, at least in the advertised world. I have two jobs from trawling Seek the other night that could possibly be worth applying for. But part of me is feeling defeated, dragging my heels, wondering what the point is in doing that when 40 squillion other people will be applying as well. Pointless sort of thinking, you know? The sort that will just keep me sitting here complaining. At least applying for a job that I might not even get gets me MOVING.

I am going out digging in my garden today. I went to Bunnings last night and loaded the car down with mulch and compost and potting mix and seed raising mix. It is definitely time to get those seeds planted. I have scored five strawberry plants off Freecycle, from a person in the next suburb. I think even that sort of connection - a once-off sharing of plants and gardenic wisdom - will probably give me a bit of a spring in my step. Doesn't take much to feel connected. I do like the idea of planting something which has been shared with me from someone in the next suburb.

I am going out into the garden today because it is one of those tasks that looms really big in my head when I let it slide, sort of like vacuuming. And one of those tasks I procrastinate about, for reasons known only to myself, and even I don't really know why. And so I figure that the flipside of that procrastination will be a nice feeling of satisfaction once I have overcome my own laziness to get my arse out there and dig, and feel the sun on my back, and move my body around instead of laying it in front of hte televison or sitting it in a computer chair.

Plus, on Good Friday, it seems sort of appropriate somehow to go burying seeds in dark places :)


  1. in your dream you were hanging out the back with the oak trees
    in your waking life you are going out the back to plant strawberries

    any plans to take an outback trip this year?

  2. Ooh bury some seeds in dark places for me, too. I could use some growth and resurrection right now. What are you planting besides strawberries?

  3. it would be great giving you a hand and solving world problems. Gardening I do enjoy.

  4. Kel - except that the strawberries are out the front :)

    No, I'm not planning on taking any trips this year. Maggie asked me the same thing, actually :) Unless some money falls out of the sky, no.

    Erin - I will plant some kale, broccoli, cabbage, carrot, peas, leeks and beetroot in honour of all our resurrections :) I'm feeling the same, fed up with the bloody limitations.

    Mark - that would be great! I enjoy it too, it's just a muscle ache getting used to it, and being comfortable in the bounds of "boy, I don't know really what I'm doing. I guess I'll learn on the way." Which is probably a good enough reason as any to indulge in it. Beginner's mind and all that :)


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