Boundaries

Monday 18 January 2010

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone
~ Henry David Thoreau

Anyone read Walden here?  It's sort of been on my to-read list for ever but I haven't got there yet.  The snippets I come across from this man though, such as this one, make me think I should be bumping it up the list.

What wisdom there is in this.  It's not on a materialistic level where this hits home for me most most profoundly but on a spiritual interpersonal level.  See, I have this desire and liking to help people. Up on my list of the 10 things that make me feel the best, knowing I have helped someone rates up there.  It's all tha gooey "I'm not just a waste of gimpy space" thing that gets all tied in with feeling the golden threaded interconnection of us all and of God and us all that just curls my toes with pleasure, you know?  Along with that, I've been blessed with a few not-inconsiderable talents that mean that I can be a real help and a healing to people in need sometimes.  I like to pray for people when the occasion springs itself at me and as I go on further and further into spiritual abject heresy I find my repertoire of how that plays out expanding.  I can feel in my body what other people are feeling if I tune myself in.  Sometimes the best sort of prayer is sharing in that sort of suffering.  It feels like this amazing privilege of God flowing through me, embodying him/herself in you.  A privilege.  A real privilege.

I guess sometimes though I don't always know easily where it ends.  Along with this gift I have this quite ridiculous overdeveloped sense of responsibility when it comes to the wellbeing of others sometimes.  It is difficult to do only what I sense I are being asked to do and to then leave the rest alone.  It's difficult to switch off from people who are in need.  But then it's difficult not to without burning myself out in 10 seconds flat.  That's partially why this introverted extrovert needs a lot of down time away from other people.  I still haven't quite mastered the arts of tuning others out when I need to.  I do it for a while and then I forget how important it is to do it.  Suddenly I realise I am frazzled around other people, I am feeling things that I wonder where they came from and sometimes I don't realise until later that what I really needed to do was shut everyone else out because I needed to only feel myself feeling for a while instead of picking up on other people's stuff.

So, you think I'm a loony yet?  :)

Sometimes you can just help too much.  Sometimes you can be doing yourself and others damage by helping too much.  This is where wisdom is called for.  Come in off the street for a while, will ya, wisdom, and sit down a while (milk with your tea?)  I need to hear you on all of this.

How about you?  Anything you're whistling down wisdom about at the moment?

5 comments

  1. ah yes
    thats the trouble with having extra sensory perception
    it goes hand-in-glove with extra sensitivity to people

    then when it all gets too much, flicking the switch that renders one unmoved by anything anyone else is going through
    cos we have enough stuff of our own to deal with thankye very much

    takes a lifetime of learning to get the balance right on that - if even possible

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  2. Thanks for commenting on this post, Kel. I always feel like a raving freak when I write about this stuff.

    It *does* take a lifetime of learning to get the balance right ... and then it's a constant rejigging, isn't it? Hard.

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  3. You're no raving freak...I wasn't specifically ignoring this post, just been busy with writing for my writing class and not able to add anything valuable to as many posts as I used to.

    You KNOW I completely get that need to listen only to yourself instead of picking up on everyone who walks by.

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  4. I tried reading it once. I found it overly dry and some might argue but a bit tedious as well.

    I read a couple of books by a woman who did similar to what Thoreau did but in the 20th century... Her name is Anne LaBastille. She's written 2 or 3 "Woodswoman" books. She lives in a remote part of the Adirondack Mountains.

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  5. Erin - well, thank you for reading my story then, once more :)

    Yeah, I know you get it. I am doing the exercises found here again (http://www.eliselebeau.com/empathResources.php#programs and finding them helpful (the empath program exercises).

    Perplexio - hmmm, okay. I might have to try it. I did figure it would be pretty slow and meandering.

    Hey, thanks for the reference to the other books. Might have to add them to the list :)

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