If you look out to your left ...

Thursday 28 February 2008

Last night I get the earlier train, the one where you are stuck with your nose in someone's armpit. As I get on, I notice that towards the middle of the carriage there is some space, and if everyone moved up then I would avoid the slight irritation of the train doors closing and squashing my body in the centre of them. (I wonder if I would pop?)

So I call out before the doors close, "Could you people please move up a bit so we can all fit on?" My inner shy person (yes, she exists) wets her pants and cringes, and says weakly, "It's so hard for me living in your body" before curling up in a self-protective ball. She then spends the next few minutes looking furtively at the other passengers to see if they are staring at me thinking, "What a rude person!" But of course, no one is, because I hadn't, after all, been rude. So there you go, inner shy person, you're a paranoid freak and no wonder I don't want to listen to you.

So anyway, we lurch along. The man standing in front of me is a Connex worker. Gee, they make them wear ugly ties, to work at Connex. (While I'm here, what's the deal? A long strip of fabric pointing to your nether regions. What is that all about? And why does wearing said strip of fabric signify professionalism? Whatever floats your boat, but it don't make much sense to me).

So the train stops then and we sit there for 10 seconds not going anywhere. I'm not all that concerned because 10 seconds isn't going to totally ruin my evening. Anyway, I have my nose stuck in a book so it's inconsequential. But then the train driver comes on over the PA.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. We apologise for the delay, but the problem is that there's a V-Line train to Bendigo up ahead which has broken down. We will have to sit here and wait for 10 seconds or so. I'm sorry about that, but it's peak hour and there's lots of other trains having to make detours as well. So to get you to Footscray Station, I am going to have to detour past South Kensington Station. But I won't be stopping there, we're just gonna continue straight through."

The Connex guy in front of me smiles. I don't know if he knows the train driver or not, but it's nice to have a bit of friendliness pierce the air of a public space.

The train starts moving forward.

"If you look out your window to your left, you'll be able to see the V-Line train," the driver says.

I love train driver who are also tour guides :)


  1. It's a good thing I hadn't begun drinking my tea yet because it would be all over the keyboard from the opening sentence through the third paragraph!

  2. So...how did you take such a sucky commute and make it so much fun for the rest of us? Nice.

  3. Jennifer - that's what I like to hear. (But my inner critic said, "What's wrong with the fourth para onwards?" hehe)

    Shelia - it was actually a cool commute in the end, thanks to that train driver. Friendliness stands out like dogs testicles these days :)

  4. Sue its great hearing about your commuting adventures. Better than Home and Away any day.

  5. Yah, those inner critics need to sleep during the day and be very quiet at night.

  6. Stu - well, you haven't exactly raised the bar very high, there, have you? Beat Home and Away? Easy! (Is Australia subjecting Ireland to that drivel as well? Sorry 'bout that!)

    Jennifer - they need to be thrown on the pyre and burned ... or maybe I need to be nicer to them and that will shut them up. Not sure :) (Wow, I sound like the God I was introduced when I first became a Christian - love them, or throw them into hell? Hmmm, let me decide ...)


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