The sun is shining ...

Sunday 24 February 2008

When you think your life is shattered
and there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart

At a time you least expect it
you're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

Third Day

There is nothing like having enlarged horizons to give hope and joy to your heart. My health is slowly getting back on track, and to have renewed energy makes all the difference in the world. I have begun taking a concotion of 28% sodium chlorite, mixed with citric acid and water, in a 1:1:4 ratio, each morning. If I took 50 drops of it, it would kill me, but in counterintuitive homeopathic fashion, a few drops of it each day, building up to 15, kills off whatever unidentified pathogens are keeping my body ill. Indeed, there is a man who regularly takes this stuff into the jungles of Africa and gives it to people with malaria - and it fixes them up. A hospital in Malawi used it on its malaria patients and cleared out the hospital. Of course, this sounds like rubbish to us Westerners who have been taught to believe that the only things which fix anything are those that come out of the laboratories of Roche or GlaxoSmithKline.

Anyway, whatever the truth of the matter, this stuff is fixing me up. I can feel it. It works in my body for an hour. The residue it leaves is a tiny indistinguishable trace of salt and then it's gone.

I wrote in my morning pages this morning: "I'm looking forward to cleaning up this house, cleaning windows is one of the things on my list to do. Not particularly enamoured, but they're pretty grubby. And just being able to physically do that kind of stuff feels so wonderful. It just opens up my world so much. What a nightmare the last year has been. Seriously. When I come out of those times and look back, they always seem worse than when I was in them. When I'm in them, I'm always worrying that I'm making mountains out of molehills. Weird, huh?" I guess it's not so weird because of the "I'm lazy" tape that still sometimes plays in my head.

Today, the sun is shining. Last night, I watched my football team win a preseason game with gusto. Despite all the political ramifications surrounding big business football, which do impinge onto the field itself, and despite the fact that I think too deeply about things to never think, "What is the point of sport?", and despite the fact that it is an artificial environment where the playing field has been levelled so that every team gets their shot at stardom and as many punters as possible are kept happy so they keep buying the product, the poetry of the game still comes through - it's always been the poetry that has drawn me, a group of men (muscles glistening, but I digress) working together as a team. And when Hodge slots that ball straight onto the chest of Buddy Franklin, who (hopefully) slots the ball through the goals (much better chance if he's more than 50 metres out), then that reinforces to me Why I Love Football ;) Despite the Empire trappings.

So I watched a game of football. Then I took myself off to my still-unnamed writing room and lit some candles and did some more stuff from The Artist's Way. Listened to some more Third Day and cried again to God (in a good way). And this morning I have woken up and put on a load of washing, anticipate doing an hour or so of writing. Then I am catching up with a friend in the afternoon and friends this evening for some playing of games. One of those friends is my ex-husband, and I shall be eternally grateful that he is of the forgiving variety, forgiving me for hurting him and rejecting him, and we are able to keep our friendship, a good, strong friendship.

I feel so grateful for everything. The sun is shining and everything has that lovely tinge of gilt edging about it.

Life is beautiful. Because God is in it. And God is so beautiful that to see him in his beauty would make me spontaneously combust.

There's a giant ferris wheel being constructed at Docklands, about 15 minutes down the road from me. They say when you ride on it you'll be able to see Geelong. It's enormous. The thought of riding it scares the shit out of me. I'm gonna ride it :)

Happy Sunday, bloggers :)

6 comments

  1. that ferris wheel sounds like fun. One day me and Julie will have to make our way down there to your neighborhood.

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  2. Yeah, dudes, come over! :)

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  3. to see him in his beauty would make me spontaneously combust.

    Isn't that the truth!

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  4. Reading this post made me smile. :)

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  5. I love soccer/football, too. My ex was usually his team's captain. I think it is balletic! And then there are those thighs, but I digress now. ;)

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  6. Thanks, girls. And Barbara - yeah, I'm with ya :) I was talking about Aussie Rules as adverse to soccer - but I can go a game of soccer on occasion too :)

    The thighs, the thighs!

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