Sunday 16 March 2008

I was thinking today about how St Francis left a life of riches to marry Lady Poverty. But growing up rich, he must have still felt rich in his soul. He must have still felt, even when he was poor, that he was the son of a rich man. I'm the daughter of the owner of the cattle on a thousand hills. The Lord of the Starfields is my dad. I believe that a little bit.

Maybe when God says that we are rich and we have everything, if we let him pump that into us so that we start to believe it, then we will be able to be poor and have nothing and still feel like we are rich and have everything. The ultimate freedom. If the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed.

I wanna be careless for God. I wanna throw my life away on something grandly frivolous, something ridiculous in the eyes of the world. I wanna throw it all away for You because You have become more real to me than myself, the pearl of great price. I wanna lose my life for your sake. I wanna want it enough to have the courage to do it. That's what I want.


  1. Sue, there is something that is so freeing about what you are saying here. This father is our provider and more than likely it is all the things we have picked up that he has not given that create many difficulties in our lives.

    Freedom is so often sacrificed for comforts and the lie that these comforts make us more secure.

  2. Yes, it feels freeing definitely. Sometimes too freeing.

    I think I'm gonna go off and read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I've meant to read both of them. Actually, I also want to read a biography about Gandhi (the movie was great but it was definitely sanitised, Hollywoodised - for example they left out how he wasn't the world's greatest husband and painted him to be wonderful and amazing to all). I also want to get something on St Francis as well.

    Mmmm, books :)

  3. Wow you don't pray big prayers or anything, do ya? I'm terrified to pray things like that...maybe I still have some layers to shed, eh?

  4. Maybe. Or maybe I'm totally impulsive and jump in knowing what I have to do and then pay the price later :) Or maybe you're sane and I'm insane. Or maybe you're insane and I'm sane.

    I can never quite tell.

  5. Sue, I heard Paul say this several times to others while he was here.

    "You at some time have asked for this. You have said prayers like; I want to be free. I'm tried of living like this. I want to know you..etc etc etc. That is all the permission they need."

  6. Damn right, bro. It's all they need ...

    ... thankfully :)

    That's at my more enlightened moments. In furnace moments on occasions it makes me want to slap them. But how do you slap an invisible trinity? Answer me that :)

    And how do you slap love?

    Well, humanity does it regularly, doesn't it. Love doesn't slap back.

  7. Wow that quote Kent posted....that's big stuff. Because I did pray that and have spent the last 3 years dealing with the aftermath. Which is good overall. I took the red pill.

    Now I feel like moving on from here and want to pray it again, but am afraid of what they will have to do to get me there. Sad.

  8. Erin. It does feel sad when you think about what it takes for them to get us where we need to go. But then, it's just part of our condition. I'm sure they don't feel sad about it. They know how long it's gonna take for us to get to where we need to go (more Shackisms coming in here :)

    I love your use of "them" :)


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