Happy solstice!

If I wasn't so self-conscious of my body (thanks, advertising, thanks past history) I would go dancing naked around a bonfire this evening. Instead, I think I will stay home and write meaningless posts about my couch.

Today is the Winter solstice. This time last year, I was scrabbling to get to this point, feeling already like I was hanging on like crazy to the notion that the days were going to get longer. This year, with better health, the lack of light isn't affecting me as much. I used to cry with the unfairness of it all that when you're sick, and you really desperately need things like good sleep, and functioning adrenal glands, and circadian rhythms that function at something like half speed to help you get better, that's the very time you don't get it. How cruel that is.

I guess one thing I've learnt out of that experience is to not judge other people when they say stuff like, "I can't get out of bed in the mornings" (seeing I still can't do that. Indeed, I slept in this morning and woke up at noon - which is late even for me). But when people say stuff about how they're really affected by certain things, and I can see other people who have blessedly had good health all their lives and who totally take it for granted, I can see the judgment in their eyes, you know? And it's just a reminder to me of how blind we all are, and how quick we are to condemn and judge and criticise those things that we don't understand or that scare us, and how it is that I'm just as quick as anybody else to do it in many areas. And yet I take solace that when it comes to health issues, I ain't gonna be doing that because I have learnt, through experience, in my own body and soul and spirit, what that "law" looks like when it gets walked out in the flesh.

We get to walk all the laws out in our flesh. When we really understand them, it's because they have smouldered themselves in, often with a sickening smell of burning flesh along the way, and it's all the difference in the world between learning and knowing it up in your head, and learning and knowing it in your entire body and soul and spirit.

Anyway, happy Saturday, bloggers. I'm just swimming in it this morning, the freedom. It feels so damn good. And happy solstice, too, Winter or Summer. I get this visual of the earth being finely and evenly balanced on the day of the solstice, the long day at one end balanced out by the long night at the other. And yet, in some way future but peeking itself into now, it's all perfect all the time. But we won't know that till we walk out into it ourselves, body, soul and spirit.