Psychotic Episodes

Oh, dear. I sound a bit barmy in that last post, don't I :) You all think I've finally flipped over into insanity, don't you :) But it happened!!! LOL. Even though I have no evidence, could not find anything that vacated my ear, I know there was something in there. There was! THERE WAS!!! :) I so hate it when I know I am trying to convey something that really happened but as I'm saying the words, I can see how it is really mainly just giving people an excuse to consider seriously whether I'm insane :) Which of course has to be considered within the realms of possibility. What do they say? It's only insane people who don't consider they're crazy. I don't really consider I'm crazy. Does that therefore mean I'm insane? :)

Speaking of insane people, I've just been watching portions of an episode of Trading Spouses that I picked up like a dose of the flu off Heather's blog :) Mein Gott. I feel the need to go and disinfect the inside of my brain. I forget there are people out there who live and think in this way. It scares me and embarrasses me because even though I didn't go anywhere like where this poor woman is living out of, I do understand the worldview and did at least begin to subscribe to it for a while back there. The scary scary scary freedom we have. Its quite ... scary. It's scary separating the wheat from the chaff. It's scary how bizarrely weirdo freakish we become when we walk too far into areas that we are most likely not meant to walk into.

Pure and impure. Godly and ungodly. That's what everything gets separated into when you believe you're on the right side, isn't it, when you're God's holy warrior? But still, how easy it is to find justification to look at the world like this, when you read the Bible. Even though you have to crash stumbling over the cornerstone, there is plenty of other stuff in there to grab madly onto and run with. And then the end result of that branch of Christianity is a poor, manipulative, control freak woman who has an excuse to hide all of that behind Christian glazes. She's God's warrior. That disclaims any need for her to learn to behave in ways that do not force the people around her to conform. How sad it is that the evil done in the world is far less from "evil despots" who are acting to enforce their evil than it is from everyday people who are acting to enforce their right. Ahhh, now that's scary :)

I feel sad too that someone like her did something like this. I feel sorry too that obviously her requests that she be placed in a "Christian" and "godly" home, free of the irritants of Satan and his dark-sided whores, were ignored in favour of a good show. But it worked, didn't it? I mean, how boring would it be to watch this show where two Christian women get swapped into each other's houses? Unless it was a crazy "emergent" woman and a crazy God Warrior woman. Now, that could be interesting :)

I wonder why this poor lady chose to do this show? Was it the money? If so, how sad that someone who sees Satan around every corner was too blinded by $50,000 and naivety to not see what people would do with her. A blind side, I suppose. We all have them. Suddenly we find ourselves slap bang in the middle of things that we are running away from in other areas. It is a strange human propensity, but I suppose it's one that is full of cold reality. Ouch!

I do wonder if she regrets doing this show. Celluloid just doesn't go away. That's why I don't understand this whole reality TV thing. Did she think she was doing it "for the Lord"? I am presuming her motivations were solely for the money, but this woman obviously loves God. She believes that her mere presence, as a warrior of God, will do some good, some mustard seed sowing, into the lives of ungodly people. How sad that her aim was so far off. I suppose this is the story of all of our lives, isn't it? Let's just hope that our sins really are cast as far as east is from west, and that we don't get to see, in plasma, all of our crap trailing out behind us in some sort of replay of our lives. I would hope that God is more graceful than we are.