I am as high and buzzing this evening as I was low and maudlin and concerned for my mind's marbles rattling down the road the other day. Because it's Friiiiiiiiiiiday.

I am looking forward to making cauliflower soup tomorrow (don't knock it before you try it. Awesome) and pumpkin scones (ditto) to take to visit my mother and my faither and watch Hawthorn hopefully beat West Coast tomorrow night. It's the small little things that give me pleasure :)

I was thinking about the whole comparison thing and how I don't like to do it. I don't like comparing myself to K, who has no house let alone no job, because it would just then make me feel guilty for hating my boring job. And then I'd be a guilty person hating my boring job and be in a worse predicament than when I am just hating my boring job. See how these things snowball?

But honestly, I hate my boring job. It's so boring. Although today I was transcribing interviews where people were talking to members of the police force about how their departments are structured and the difficulties in doing their job, and what the departments' aims and focuses are and that was quite interesting. I find all that systemic sort of stuff fascinating, just how much we can't see past how things are because things just are.

And yet goodness me. I'm reading Natural Capitalism at the moment, which is an interesting book that is showing it's age. Written in 1999, there is so much that is outdated but the basic premise is to show what the world would like like if nature and humans were factored into capitalism as its most important resources, and if more and more systems (like factories etc) were run on principles of renewal, the way the earth runs itself. Duh, there's an idea.

There are amazing stats in this book about the copious amounts of waste produced to keep western people in lifestyles that they are terribly unhappy in. It just brings home to me again how terribly and utterly insane the world is that we live in. No wonder I feel like my marbles might go rolling into the gutter.

But it feels like the tide has turned somehow. The spiritual air feels a bit more rarefied to me these days. Maybe it's got something to do with giant bits of the south pole breaking apart and the financial system vomiting all over itself. Yeah, I think that might have something to do with it :)

But it's funny, the longer the media bleats on about the doom and gloom of everything, the more I feel the light shining brighter. It has nothing to do with my circumstances but it feels like the fountain inside of me is bubbling more brightly these days, as if I can see a bit further than before. I can't describe how these things happen. It is a mystery.