Claybusting (Like Cloudbusting, Only ... Clayier)

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

It's taken me six days to find my way back into the playroom. I can't adequately describe how exposed and howling raw part of me has felt for the past three weeks. I do not think I shall be going back to the rest of my clay classes. I feel sad about quitting yet another thing halfway through, but I am not berating myself. I do not feel it has been a wasted experience. I have learnt some things, a bit of technique. I have learnt how to make cool eyes :) I've also learnt a bit more what I is, and I guess I is what I is. Right now, this part of me is too fragile to be around other people. I need to be alone so I can think and feel, just me and the clay and music. I need to work with what I have, and what I am.

I think I shall be teaching myself from now on. Cast that in a certain sort of candlelight and it looks rather romantic, don't you think? ;) I shall learn what I need to learn as I go. After all, there are an awful amount of tutorials on YouTube ;)

I am making a clay bust of Blob. My watcher at the gates. The spewer of vitriole. The slammer shut of story doors halfway through. Occasionally I find ways of tricking around Blob so I cant get stuff written. But Blob doesn't let me go to sleep and get up in the morning and finish where I left off. Blob tries to convince me I've got ADD. I suspect the rest of the story lies cut off behind the tightly shut door. Blob has got a cousin, the critic. She's alright. She can stay.

I can say this - that Blob sure is one ugly bastard.

When he has dried I am going to smash him with a hammer.


  1. Sometimes it takes more guts to quit than to keep going.

  2. Yeah, I think you're right. There's such a pressure to "finish what you start". What if you realise after you've started it that it's not a good fit?

    I sat in the playroom last night and continued fashioning Blob (makes me laugh every time I look at it) and my technique has improved out of sight and I had a really good time ... by myself :)

  3. so what if you're not finishing the classes...completing the clay sculpture at home is still a finish line

    and what a celebration you're gonna have with the claybusting ceremony

    .... and the soundtrack will be?

  4. Yeah, Kel, this is the thought I'm left with. I feel a bit disappointed that whatever weird fruitcakey bits of me make me feel like that in a group setting, but it's just how it is at this stage, unfortunately!

    Funny, the longer I spend on Blob the more reticent I am to smash him with a hammer. He's so ugly and so GRUMPY, I sort of want to keep him now :)


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