The Unchill

Wednesday 5 September 2012

Out of the unchill, what was a chasm becomes, once again,
a step.
What was something someone else did becomes, once again,
something I can do
(I thirst).

Somewhere, beyond the range of my ears, there is
an audible click as I snap back in to Myself.

The clay has been in the corner for so long I can't count the months.
I couldn't reach it, though it's been right there. Suddenly there is
a path ~ again ~ where there wasn't one before.  It is wise to
keep an eye out for disappeared paths.
They appear and disappear in accordance with how close I am to the
vat of congealed fear and how easily I forget that I can look in without falling.

In the dark I have faith and forget that the paths are there at all, and that I will return.

Knowing how little I see is beautiful, smells like chocolate, feels like fucking, like
rolling around in the dark dank of the forest floor, and I am free
~ free
free ~
~ free ~
and once again I am released from the prison nobody else has
sentenced me to but myself and the body I must stuff myself down into,
as if it was ever big enough for the likes of Me.

I measure the roadblocks that sometimes pop up in front of my desires by how
jealous I feel of other people who are doing the thing that I want to do myself but can't get to.
Though one part of me is numb to what I want to do most, another part of me
unhampered is thirsty, delirious, at the return to play,
at the coming of the spring. 


  1. the light is returning

  2. You are the 'spring' in fact, just noticing itself again. Here comes the sun:) That link was long, but well worth it (even if I find I dispute the physics - but that's another matter:)).

  3. What is it about the physics you dispute, Harry? I'd be interested to hear ... if you can be bothered. It's not like you can write a small piece on quantum phsyics, after all :)

  4. Yeah. Indeedly doodly :)

  5. The light is waning. :)

  6. Gorgeous, Sue. Exactly how I experience spring.

  7. Ahhh... right...:) I'll refer you to for the full enchilada, Sue, but basically it's that for the past 80 years physics has wandered down a weird alleyway called quantum theory, based on probability rather than simple reality. Even though all of physics has been screaming something else since Einstein etc, we still persist with the notion of separate 'particles' moving in something called 'space', whereas there is only infinite, eternal Space (or whatever we call it), vibrating very fast and giving rise to the appearance of matter, time, and so 'events'. This misconception permeates the whole of human consciousness, so producing the mess we see now. I think that's enough for a blog comment - I'll carry on by email if you like:)

  8. I am sorry your summer has come to an end. But not sorry enough to be willing to switch the seasons around :) I'm glad you had such a good one, though. Hooray for lovely summers

  9. Interesting, Harry, thanks. I shall bookmark that site for further reading when I'm able to concentrate/ and my essay isn't due tomorrow :)


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