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Monday, 1 October 2012

I dunno.  Maybe this blog is due to be put on its shelf.  It is feeling tired and stale around here. I have writer's block when it comes to finding things to blog about.  When I read back on posts of previous years, there is some semblance of life in what I am blogging about.  These days, I can't seem to find a thing to blog about that is not complaining or griping.  And who wants to read about that, right?

Maybe I'm just having end of university year writing doldrums.  I haven't been doing much non-academic writing this semester.  Two non-writing-related subjects plus all these health issues have added up for me to a real struggle to keep up, and a real lack of real writing time. 

Maybe I'm just feeling the lack of that, and everything will come rolling back in again once uni ends and I have more time to be creative again.  But right now, I feel like creatively all dried up and crusty, and that is reflected in my blog, and though it is a therapeutic feeling writing on here and getting out my feelings, it's a bit difficult when suddenly that is all you seem to be doing on your blog.

I miss the cameraderie of days-gone-by blogging.  I miss God, whatever or whoever they may be.  I feel a bit sad about that.

Do any of you practice meditation on a regular basis?  I used to, and used to not be able to imagine ever not doing it.  But ever since my adrenal fatigue hit last year, it's like I've been thrown into limbic land and I can't seem to readily and easily find my way back into a regular meditation.  Which is crazy, right, because it makes all the difference, and I miss it.  But the days keep going by, and I keep realising that again I haven't done any meditation, haven't done any yoga, and I can't work out why!!!!



  1. Now you listen up here, young lady. You are a beautiful writer and you'd better not stop writing here or you'll have me to deal with. It's the only place where I find a breath of creativity, honesty, and beauty in the writing. I realize maybe you're just having a day, and if so, you're entitled.

    Seriously, I definitely miss the camaraderie. I hate to say that Facebook seems to have replaced so much of that. Which may be good and may be bad. And I think of the circles I used to run in, and so many of us have processed whatever we were working through and have moved on to other areas of life.

    No, I've never done any yoga; I always wish I would, but I never actually take that step.

  2. Sue, for what it's worth, my theory on your recent posts is that your topic of personal struggle no longer interests you, not that you don't struggle, but just that writing about it has run its course and you are bored. You quoted a poet when I first started commenting, whose work I hadn't read before, but whose insights were amazing on what she called the "Patience of Ordinary Things." She was talking about what ought to be boring and yet she was able to transform, through her poetry, into things miraculous.

    For 17 years, I did meditation with a spiritual group on Monday evenings and at least one Saturday a month. People showed up now and then, over many years time, like visitors comment now and then on a blog, and you get to know them as real friends without ever socializing. I currently work with a life coach via email, fantastic her questions, they make me rethink everything, and there is a sense of meditation in that, pulling one into the moment entirely, because the mental challenges so refreshing.

  3. You are where you are, Sue. Trying to figure out why will just make your head explode. If you decide that Blogsville isn't the way just now, leave it on that shelf to ferment a bit (to mix metaphors slightly:)) and see what brews up. It could be that this particular incarnation is due for a death and resurrection, and the form is as unpredictable as the next breath. As for God, meditation, etc., decide what they really mean to you right now, and go with that. And remember, the answers won't come as words but as inner conviction. Also remember that you could be just having one of the Seasons of Susie, and things might look very different in the morning:)

  4. Yes, Harry, I must say - these days, the Seasons of Susie can coalesce into 97 seasons in one day :) But you're so right - thinking too hard is pointless and stressful. And there's beauty in the thought that everything is living, dying, rebirthing again. A bit of a strange one for Western sensibilities, but we're due for our own overhaul anyway in our thinking, methinks. Something that suits us a little better.

  5. Hey Sarah. I'm not sure if I'm bored with writing about personal health issues. It's just that I am bored when it feels like it's the ONLY thing I'm writing about. I think I just need to get out and do a bit of living and find other things to write about. It's like a brain switch - I can be sitting there thinking there's nothing to write about, and wait for a mood change and a bit of expansiveness and suddenly you *know* that there are always millions of things to write about, more than you could ever actually write. I think it's just needing some extra doses of inspiration, really.

    That's interesting what you say about working with a life coach being akin to meditation. I have started seeing a psychotherapist and the stuff we have been doing at the beginning has been about reminding myself of the resources I have. So talking to Little Susie (which feels totally wanky but really, really, really works) and doing a deep meditation to find my "happy place". Pretty basic stuff, but I'm finding that it's wonderful and helpful and I'm soooooo glad I've started. But yeah, I can relate to what you say. The feeling I have had during the week has been a much more meditative one since starting to see her.

    That's a long time to practise meditation in one spot. Very cool :)

  6. Oh, Erin, that is such a lovely thing to say. Thank you!!! Like I've said, I think I just need to blow off some cobwebs. Having some interesting things to write about means I'm stimulated both off the page and on ... my essay is due next Monday, I have an exam the week after, and then that's it for the year, and I am so looking forward to the break so I can get some balance.

    I think you're right, that blogging and the circles you form are sometimes about working through sometimes, and then sometimes you're just done with that. Which is fine. I agree, Facebook has replaced much of that. Which I actually sort of hate. I am a Facebook addict and at the same time I despise it. Weird, eh.

    (I was just reading an article before that was talking about how Australians are turning away from Facebook - Part of me likes that idea. My personal preference - turn away from Facebook and start blogging again :P

    One day when we meet, we shall have to do a yoga class together :)

  7. ... something that actually suits us, period, 'cos what we got doesn't no way no how. Something a little closer to reality might just work, but it would definitely mean a bit of an 'overhaul':)


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