Anus Horribillis

1.
I often do this - something goes wrong and I take it all upon myself, as if I absolutely could have prevented it but didn't through laziness or aversion, and therefore it's my fault and proves something is horribly wrong with me. Whereas in fact there's only so many balls you can juggle and anyway, haemmerhoids are common enough to the human condition.

Apple cider vinegar on a cotton ball and shoved up your clacker has worked for lots of people apparently, so I'm always up for some experimentation.

All of those people who have tried this remedy know full well that the word "shoved" is here used for effect rather than any reflection on reality.

2.
Upon reflection, 2013 on the whole resembled for me the four days of weather hellishness Melbourne has just been through.  Four days of temps around the 43 celsius mark.  Last night the cool change hit, and the smell of the earth rose up to where I was on the balcony watching the lightning flash purple down the stretch of the sky.  Any birds that we've seen over the past four days have been drooped with their beaks open and their wings slightly away from their body to stay as cool as possible.  The bird bath stayed mainly unused because it was too hot to get to.

Now, the temperatures outside are half of what they were yesterday and the activity flurries. Rainbow lorikeets, cockatoos, rosellas and kookaburras  coming back to life.