Book/Blog Addict

Okay. Julia Cameron has instructed me that I am to not read anything all week. What kind of crazy drugs was this woman on when she wrote this thing? It definitely was not a blogging universe when she wrote this ... so can I cheat? Hehe. Do blogs count?

I'm happy to go a week without reading any books (agh!) but blogs as well? Doesn't she know I've just stopped smoking the chooferoonie? Doesn't that count? (No, Sue, you know that has nothing to do with it!)

I just sent Lucy a desperate comment on her blog and she responded with an encouraging email. I need all the encouragement I can get. So to those of you who have done The Artist's Way, how did you go doing this? Did you feel rather desperate about it? I am still deciding whether to cut out reading blogs completely but I think I"m even more of a blog addict than a book addict (unfortunately) so I don't know if I can really do it. I really don't.

There's the rub. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. Even just for a week. That's pathetic, isn't it? But it's true. I am what I am. And the desperate scrambling I'm feeling at the thought makes me think, maybe I should. After all, I went for three days without blogging and reading blogs; this would just be double that. (But I was unable to get online there. What do I do when I have my laptop sitting here just waiting for me? Huh? What then?)

If I do this, I'm gonna cheat and not start till tomorrow, anyway, I've decided (hehe. Just want to feel the needle slide under the skin for one more day). But if I stop reading blogs, then I probably really will have to stop writing them as well. Won't I. (Damn you, Lucy). Can I do this? It feels so empty. What would I do instead? (Gee, I dunno - like, 6 million things????)

God, I don't feel like I can do this. Help! Pliz! Anyone of the praying persuasion, can you pray for me please? I seriously want to do this for the benefits I know I'll get out of it - but I really don't feel like I can. Pray for the conviction.

Lucy said it was a magical time for her. If I was looking a bit higher than at my feet, the ground, and my desperation, I would imagine that God would be delighted at the opportunity to insert a few deliciousnesses into this coming week for me, his kid, who is trying to do this difficult thing. Like for all of us. Maybe we miss them when we're scuffing our feet and feeling sorry for ourselves.

But dammit, I do! :) And as much as I'm making light of this, it's just to keep the goddamn terror at bay. I'm scared.