Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Saturday, 5 January 2008

So how many of you feel generally misunderstood? I have been pondering it over the past few months and the conclusion I have reached is that I haven't generally felt "got", except by a select few group of people, since I was about 10 years old. It's probably the reason why I am drawn to write. I guess I'm just so used to feeling generally misunderstood now that it doesn't worry me as much as it used to. Growing up in my family, feeling like the only one whose aim was to live in reality instead of denial, has set the groundwork, I think, for being used to the general discomfort of people not getting me. But then again, perhaps all of us feel this way, perhaps it's part of the human condition to be painfully aware of the gap between our true selves and what the world sees on the outside. Only God can know us fully.

Most of us would say that the criteria for a good friend would be someone who "gets" you. I think the main reason why I am feeling relief that the romance-or-friendship-or-whatever-it-was is finished (never really started anyway, but is finished in my head, I guess I mean), is that for the majority of our communication I had the unsettling feeling that he didn't really understand me, nor was he in a place where he could try to. What a lonely feeling that is. (Edit: I think in that respect it was a two-way street. I couldn't understand him much of the time, nor did he allow me to).

Such a strong urge within us, to be understood. Surely some of the best, most loveliest moments are within relationships and friendships when you know the person you are speaking to "gets" you, yeah? Such a foundational issue. It reflects our God image, this desire to know and be known. It reminds me of the Trinity and the relationship that goes on within that most mysterious of things, a relationship that has always existed and from which all our relationships come.

My hope is for community out in the real world. Some fellow believers to hang with and be real with and see what God would have us do together. A few people that would "get" me. That sounds good to me.

Question for you: how understood do you feel in your life generally? Most bloggers seem to be the more introverted, introspective types and I wonder - is this why we are drawn to this medium? The more we feel people don't "get us" out there, the more we want to connect "in here"? So how about you? Are you "got", or do you have to work extra hard to get people to get you?

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