Saturday, 8 November 2008

Wow. That was really very unpleasant. I finally feel like I have gained some equilibrium back from the hell of Wednesday night.

I'm glad I'm not an alcoholic, because my liver is already stuffed. Seriously. Which is probably why I reacted the way I did on Wednesday night. In Chinese medicine, each organ is associated with a particular emotion. The liver's emotion is anger. And oh, boy, have I been angry the last few days? I've been exploding with it, spilling out of my eyes, my ears, but most definitely my mouth - yelling at the poor dogs to get out of the way when they happen to be in my path. This morning they were both sitting there staring at me and it was driving me crazy ape bonkers. They were wondering who this weird freak was who had come in and replaced the nice lady that gave them treats a few days previously. I made them go out of the room and closed the door. Couldn't stand them looking at me. Made me feel horribly guilty :)

I've been thinking for months I need to do a liver cleanse, so it looks like I am suddenly in one. Today I have done liver loving things - eaten beetroot, drank green tea and shitloads of water - and this afternoon bought some tablets that are for "liver detoxing". They are already helping. I am feeling more normal again.

Last night I borrowed a few DVDs, smoked a joint like the good Christian girl I am (which just made me feel worse than I already did, so that was some sort of of backfiring :), and watched The Meaning of Life. Hah :) Good stuff. Tonight I am about to watch Against the Wind, a mini series that was made to great acclaim here in Australia in the 70's, I think it was. Did it make it to the States and England and other places? I know Jane watched it in her childhood in South Ifrica because she was just waxing lyrical about how she loved when she watched it as a kid. I know I loved it too but I have forgotten so much of it. I love this way of watching mini-series - on DVD, so you can gorge yourself on 2 or 3 episodes in a row if you're so inclined. It feels very luxurious to me :)

My internet/telephone connection has been playing up ever since the heavy rain of last night. I think maybe it means I have water in the telephone line or something, if such a thing is possible. It's very annoying and I shall ring and complain like a grouchy old cow on Monday about it. Last night I grouched and smashed the phone around when it kept cutting out. Today it's been intermittent. Tonight it seems to have righted itself. Like me.

I'm off to lie on the couch and feel not angry. It feels really lovely :) Whee! And now I am going to feast my eyes on a youthful black-eyed Jon English :) (What an old perve I'm turning into. Cripes).

Thanks for prayers for me :)


  1. ah yes, there is an art to detoxing in a bearable (slow) manner, which probably just drags out the 'bleh' for longer....

    my 2cents worth re liver support supplements, (from fairly comprehensive research i did when diagnosed with liver tumour) the best on the market in australia is called Healthy Liver, by Johnson and Barana (J&B), it has the best synergetic blend of herbals etc, and due to the soft capsule formulation provide high bio-availability and absorption

    Living in the city, you may even find them in a shop, but the only place i could get them was online


    go gentle

  2. Thanks guys! I am feeling so much better, thanks, Mork, now that I have backed way off. As you say, Kel, it's slowly slowly is the ONLY way - I don't actually have any other option, anyway. And thanks so much Kel for this. I've been planning on getting something else to keep taking, so thank you for your more than 2 cents. How are things going with you now?

  3. Every time I check out your site, Sue, it's totally different. No one can say you are dull.

    About water in the lines--yes, it's very possible to get water in the lines. I used to call the telephone company all the time after a bad rain. You will get static or hear cross talk or you can't get a connection on a dial-up even if there is a dial tone sometimes.

    In my neck of the woods, the phone company tends not to do more than go look at the box outside. I've had to tell them what to look for. I'm usually always right about it, too. They don't like to do much because they haven't got as much personnel what with cell phones being popular. Make them do right by you. Don't take no for an answer.

    Good on ya, mate!

  4. Hey there Kathryn, thanks for visiting :) I often wonder if I should split my blog up into several. I feel like sometimes the more spiritual ethereal mystical stuff I write gets ruined somehow when I swear and write about the joint I smoked and ... you know, be messy. But I keep it all here together even though it makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, because this is what life is, I think.

    Thanks for the tip about the phone line. I'm a bit concerned about that actually because the service I used is a third party service - ie they rent the line from another company. So that makes getting anything done just that little bit harder. Still, we shall see :)

  5. And the Lord said, "Thou shalt not smoke pot". I haven't found it yet, but it must be in there somewhere for it to be wrong for a Christian to do.

    I was reading in Ezekiel the other day - amazing stuff after the weird wheeled beings - and I was intrigued by this verse in chapter 3:

    "Then I came to the exiles who lived beside the river Chebar at Tel-abib, and I sat there seven days where they were living, causing consternation among them."

    The word sat popped out at me and it brought home how Eastern the culture was by today's standards.

    God told Ezekeil to eat a scroll - I wonder if it made him sick? I'm thinking God isn't that concerned with a little relaxation.

    I'm just saying. :)

  6. Good grief woman, do I have to come over there? I shun all blogs for a while and you are violating your liver?

    Am I going to have to bring a flannelgram over there?

  7. Jennifer - thank you :) I might do a post about this at some point. I don't have a problem with pot in the same way that I don't have a problem with a few drinks. I actually see very little difference between the two, really. I guess it's just for me personally, even though I am generally okay with it there are little pockets of guilt that occur because it takes me away from being creative :)

    Tyler - LOL! Not the flannelgram! No! NOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!

    Hell is full of flannelgrams.

  8. I'm sorry, I'm still trying to get past "the river Chebar".


    (And yes I know it's Hebrew and not pronounced the same. But still.)

  9. Not round here it's not :)

  10. Just catching up with you and sorry to see you've had a tough time. Interesting what you say about your liver cleanse - gonna have to try that!
    Hope you continue feeling better - but the anger may be saying more than just a crap liver.
    Don't think Against the Wind made it to the UK, doesn't sound familiar.

  11. Tess - thank you. Yes, of course the anger is not always just simply a physical manifestation. But this is really interesting to me, dealing with these liver issues (finally!) I have been experiencing more anger over the past 2 years than at any time in my life. Masses of it. And partly that is because there have been things I have done and things others have done that have stirred it all up, plus working on myself too, you know? Facing up to the things I feel, integrating them into myself, letting myself expand a bit, the mess grow bigger, haha :) And so I have been looking at that stuff SO MUCH. And yet this is the flipside. Both of them fit, the emotional and the physical. This is the second stage of dealing with all of that anger.

    Tyler - AHAAAA!!!! :D I love it when you come back here :)


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