The young woman
hopes that
maybe this time
she'll find her lack
invisible flutters beneath
sophisticated flirting
asking
impossibilities into eyes
as lost as she.
The young man
hears the faint
mewling of
a kitten weaned early
a sucking skin request
to make her real
such a lot to ask
the soul of someone
who's as lost as she.
The young woman is
looking for clues
proof she exists
for what was stolen
a coupla years ago
by a different set of eyes
in a different fucked-up soul
of another human being
more lost than she.
Newer
Older
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hmm, yeah! I really like it! It's wise and the descriptions and phrase order are great...!
ReplyDeleteHey Manu, thank you :)
ReplyDeleteTragically Beautiful. Whispers of regret mingled with intimations of quiet expectancy and timid hope. Definitely worth risking it all again.
ReplyDeleteShelia - I am always interested to see how people react to stuf I write because often it's so different to what I intended :) The character I had in mind was a woman who had been raped and had something stolen from her and was looking for it in places she would never be able to find.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I agree, definitely worth risking again :)
That's beautiful, Sue. I mean, the story is sad, but the way you put the words together. I like that you take risks in your writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin. I don't know how to not take risks in writing, the territory comes with itself. It's always a risky enterprise, writing, dontchathink?
ReplyDeleteNot if you cling to the edge of safety, always wondering when you will topple over the brink and what you'll find when you get there. Like me.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about Jon's question he posed on Rahab's Kitchen the other day about how close to ourselves we are online. I am pretty close - I get the same vague sense of unease because I'm so open and it makes me feel vulnerable. But then writing somehow enfolds me, in some strange way gives me a buffer zone, a safety zone. It's very strange.
ReplyDeleteBut of course, writing as an heretical hellbound Christian in Australia, and writing as the same in the US are completely different kettles of tuna, my dear. You have so many more things to overcome in that area than I do. If I had the pressure of a Christian culture around me in my life, I would probalby be less open too, you know? You're going alright, girl :)
Is it that different there? I hadn't realized it...maybe because Australia doesn't have this myth of a Christian nation going on?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement.