4.56 am

Wednesday 20 May 2009

... and just going to bed. Hmmm. Last night, after my art therapy session, I had this massive, massive headache. Never again will I doubt that suppressed anger causes headaches. This was old, old anger, and it threatened to pop the top of my head. Maggie did some reiki on me, which was strange in itself. She said she could feel sort of tiny little electric shocks on her fingers. Weirdness.

By the time I got home after art therapy, I was feeling so bad, with such an awful headache, that it got me moaning. And yet at the same time I was starving. Which is a strange combination. But it's been a strange week.

I dialled home delivery, ate it, and went to bed at 7.30. Slept until 12.30 when pop goes the eyelids and I get my very own night watch for the next four hours. It's amazing how quickly four hours can go in the dead of night when you're feeling like you're the only person in the world. It felt like it dragged and yet at the same time I managed to fill it in pretty easily, polishing off a bit giant wad of the latest Wally Lamb book I'm reading. But oh, there's nothing lonely like 4 am.

Getting to see it twice in one week is not really my idea of good sleep hygiene. I feel like a skanky sleep ho, right about now.

Fell asleep around 4.30. Slept till 9.30 this morning. Felt like shite all day. Looked forward all day to getting home and getting to sleep at a reasonable sort of hour.

And yet here we are.

I began my week with a Eurovision Song Contest get-together which had me going to bed at 3 am. All of this has been combined with me fighting off (successfully so far) the onset of some sort of cold, or flu, or ear infection return, or something. I don't know what the hell is going on in my body this week. It's all discombobulated.

And yet, in the midst of all of that, art therapy breakthroughs for me. A sense that old habits are being dislodged. This new birth in the midst of all this feeling unwell and gargantuan headaches and upsettedness and crying jags.

It's enough to make a girl want to take the day off work tomorrow. Luckily for me, my work is flexible on its starting times. Which basically means for me that even though I have had this crazy non-sleeping night, I will still be able to rejig things so that I can fit in a five hour shift by the time I wake up at lunchtime. And hey, my job might be boring but it is perfect for circadian morons like me :)

Here's to better sleeping habits for the rest of the week


  1. You need some Ambien. I hope you can sleep tonight!!!

  2. Sounds like a normal day for me. Here's to better sleeping habits for both of us. What I really need is a week on a monastic schedule. That always sets my clock. Two weeks more likely.

  3. sounds like you have one of the few jobs that suits your sleeping schedule

    not too many jobs that let you do that :)

  4. Sleep is precious to me. I get angry when there isn't enough of it, don't deal well. (Maybe that's why I was such a crappy mom for the first 5 years or so.) Anyhow, I generally only need 8 hours, but I have to have that. Anything less is dangerous.


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