Reprise ~ Feels Good/Feels Bad

Sunday, 24 May 2009

  • Realising how easy it is for me to fall into unhealthy narcissism - feels bad
  • Seeing my seedlings come up - feels good
  • Reading so much in-depth information about psychological stuff that I have a headache - feels bad
  • Sharing my wounds with friends - feels good
  • The amount of years it takes to accept those wounds - feels bad
  • Living in a timeframe that is completely out of touch with Western conceptions of timeframes - feels good
  • Catching on (duh) to the idea that other people's conceptions of me are not reality - feels good
  • Doing three "feels goods" in a row - feels good
  • Feeling like it's messy because I have rejigged the "feels good/feels bad" order - feels anal
  • That stupid stupid Snuggie (which is just a bathrobe-you-wear-backwards you morons) and its stupid, stupid ad has hit Australia with Australian voiceovers - feels bad
  • The amount of energy I have these days - feels so good I just can't tell ya
  • The thought of my friend who still has CFS - feels bad
  • The prospect of living in a country where I am free to go off this afternoon to watch some footy and enjoy myself - feels good
  • The shitload of dishes that are waiting for my return - feels bad
  • The anticipation of playing Sinead O'Connor's Theology album when it arrives in my letterbox - feels good
  • Music - its existence, and feeling like you could argue for the existence of God simply from that - feels good
  • Not needing at all to argue for the existence of God - feels good
  • Deleting the "feels good" I just wrote which was talking about a creative endeavour I am in the middle of because it is self-sabotage to talk about creative acts in the middle of them - feels good
  • Being free to do creative acts - feels good
  • The always-there possibility of self-sabotage - feels bad
  • The understanding that the more I know myself and own myself, the less need there is for self-sabotage - feels good
  • The hopeful fluttering in my heart right now as I write those words above - feels good
  • Understanding how wide the freedom is and how it is possible for me to change - feels bad
  • Being loved - feels good
  • Being loved - feels bad
  • Being honest - feels good
  • Being vulnerable - feels bad
  • Pondering the possibility of maybe I don't even really know what love is - feels bad
  • Singing bad Foreigner songs - feels bad
  • Wanting you to show me - feels bad
  • Wanting you to show me - feels good
  • Wishing for people the exact thing I don't have for myself - feels liberating
  • My own private Idaho - feels good
  • Being too deep and analytical - feels boring
  • Being free to travel the threads so far that they lead to doubt - feels good
  • The true and deep understanding that I am loved by God and do not need to do anything to 'prove' that or earn it - feels good
  • Being free to sometimes doubt that I am loved by God, and sometimes occasionally to even ask myself, "Hey, maybe I'm just spinning myself a line and God doesn't really exist and believing in God is just some sort of paradigmatic quest to stop me from killing myself" - feels good, paradoxically
  • Seeing colours and shapes and textures and people and animals and inside my own heart sometimes, and thinking, "There has to be a mind and a personality behind that. Look at it. It screams of God" - feels good


  1. a new susy theme song?
    it's all part of the mix :)

  2. Knowing cool people on other continents - feels good. :)

  3. Hey Sue, I noticed that you are listening to Death Magnetic. What do you think of it? I love it.

  4. Kel - yeah, it's a good theme song to have. Although two posts in a row of it and blergh! Boring!!!!!!! Introspection is necessary and helpful and good and downright dull after a while :)

    Erin - yay! It does, that! :D

    Cole - hey, dude. I've only listened to it once so far so I can't rightly say. Do you have a favourite song?

    The whole listening to an album thing - it takes time, doesn't it. Knowing that it's not really going to come clear until the third listen or so. Still, a worthwhile endeavour :)

  5. I like "That Was Just Your Life" and "All Nightmare Long" the best.

  6. Okay, I shall think of you when I listen to them :)

    I love how when you first begin to listen to an album oftentimes they all feel a bit the same. When you are famliar with that same album and all the songs are so distinct from each other, it seems strange that it could have ever been like that :)

  7. Reading this right now, feels good!

    I love this Sue! You are so creative and outspoken that you have inspired me in so many ways! I really enjoy what you have to write on your blog and what you have to say on my blog!! Glad to know you friend! :)

  8. Nicole - That's a lovely thing to say, thank you :) I am glad to know you too, buddy, watching you unfurl in freedom - luvverly :)


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