Workin' for the Man Sucks

Thursday, 10 September 2009

He came upon a pond and as he swam there it became colder and colder. A flock of creatures flew overhead, the most beautiful he had ever seen. They cried down to him, and hearing their sounds made his heart leap and break at the same time. He cried back in a sound he had never before made. He had never seen creatures more beautiful, and he had never felt more bereft.

The Ugly Duckling
Listened to a podcast last night about a bloke and his wife and his four kids who launched out into an artistic career, because he felt God telling him to depend on him, with everyone around him telling him he was being "irresponsible" and quoting verses at him about "if you will not work you will not eat" and he felt like a loony but felt like God was telling him to. And he hasn't gone without a meal ever, even though the electricity has been cut off from time to time, and he still feels like a loony but he feels free and like he is doing what God is telling him to do.

Sometimes I wonder if God is telling me or suggesting things to me and I'm not listening. Or not believing because it sounds too good. I'm inclined to think, "Why me?" Why should I have a satisfying job being paid to write when heaps of people have shitty jobs bored out of their skulls? I don't want to buy into that Gen X thing we were brought upon that all of us are meant to have wonderful amazing jobs. But then on the other hand, why not? Hope deferred makes the heart sick and I've been working shit jobs for several decades. Writing and being published is right there in front of my eyes on the newstands but they might as well be on Jupiter if I don't believe it's possible. And I don't really. But I do. But then I don't. Sometimes I think the greatest yearnings I have for freedom, to run out the door and fly into the wind, to go and work in Alice Springs, to write and keep writing, are the most responsible followings after God I could do if I had the courage. Other times I don't know if I am hearing anything at all, or if I am it's just my own ego. Sometimes i think if I could just hear him tell me in that crystal clear/hardly heard way that I so love and hate, along with a few wet fleeces on the ground, I would be off like a rocket, going wherever or doing whatever. Other times my knees knock together at the thought.

I am at work feeling unwell. Feeling inspired by what I heard last night. Wondering and wandering. Working for the man.


  1. nice new blogskin for spring :)

    you know I'd be the first to say follow your heart, live your dreams

    but I'd also be the first to say, it's really really hard

    so many sacrifices
    that will get thrown your way

    the dream must be big
    the persistence constant

    but, you know I'd be cheering loudest from the sidelines :-)

  2. I like what Kel said. I do know people who have given up everything to chase a God and a dream, and they love it. They have challenges and sacrifices just like the rest of us, but at least they are doing something they are passionate about.

    I'm timid because I have children who have a life and schools and friends and stability, and I'm chicken to uproot them...but I have God dreams too...

  3. kel has offered wise words. i pick her for my team! here's a little john o'donohue i ran across this a.m. thought of it again when i read your post:

    "It watched you play with the seduction of safety
    And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
    Heard the waves of turmoil rise & relent,
    Wondered would you always live like this.

    Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
    And out you stepped onto new ground,
    Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
    A path of plenitude opening before you."

    --from Blessings..."For a New Beginning."

    take care of you, suzie Q

  4. Kel - that is so sweet :) I am so inspired by people like you who have followed their dreams. I think the time has to be right, but the courage has to be there too, for it to happen. Thanks for your encouragement. Hopefully one day I can come down for a weekend at your manifested dream :)

    Erin - I think passion is so important and it's so easy to just live a life that's dreary. It must be SO much harder to want to follow your dreams with kids, especially when so many around you would be so entirely willing to tell you how selfish you are etc etc etc. I hope whatever those God dreams are, you keep fanning the flames

    Lucy - those words are just just just beautiful from Mr J O'D. Thank you for passing them along. I shall add them into my simmering pot of dreams (like a bay leaf :)

  5. you know where we are :)
    only 3.5hrs on the V/Line


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