Wednesday, 11 November 2009

This alienation thing is like

the wrong end of a telescope like

slapping away what you want like

a vat full of self-consciousness when what you are after is self-forgetfulness like

1400 different kinds of fucked up

What a wussy little scaredy cat I am these days. How fraught with danger a simple dinner to meet up with people I haven't met before but sort of think I would like to. The monkey mind that resulted could refuel the entire Asian ecosystem.

Never before been so terrified of some things. Never before had a clue how hard it is to get back in the swim once out on the sandbar. Trying too hard comes too easy in a space like this.

Egads, this life, it is a tiresome beast, that's for sure.

And it's too bloody hot.


  1. Well, at least you considered it....maybe next time you will go. But yeah, life is a pain in the ass.

  2. Yeah. I think I will get there eventually. I just have a newfound respect for how scared I am, I guess. The emotions yesterday were like a tsunami. It sort of took me by surprise.


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