I Love Men

Friday 16 September 2011

After I wrote my post yesterday about the problems I have and am having dealing with negative male energy in myself and in the world, it made me wonder.  Not that there are thousands or even hundreds of people reading this blog, but I found it interesting that the two people to comment yesterday were female.

And it made me wonder whether talking about this stuff feels intimidating to men in any way.  That a man reading this would think it was a load of hullaballoo, or that I am condemning men.  That wasn't my intention, but I can see it's possible for sensitive, thoughtful men who are aware of the damage men have done in the world might possibly construe it as such.  Whereas what I am talking here is that energy in humans that is generally identified as male.  This energy is in women as well, just as female energy is in men.  Just in differing degrees.

Because men and women are different from each other, and there are no two ways about it.  Those two energies, and those two sexes, are complementary to each other.  Their coming together and intermingling creates a sum way bigger than its parts.  This seems to me to apply in a single human soul, and also out in the world, just as it does in the coming together of two people to make a new life.

So like I said, my woundings have come from males, as have many women's woundings.  But yet, that is not a condemnation of men.  I think men struggle nowadays because they do not feel permitted to really be themselves.  I think men struggle because the kinds of male role models who do it with style, instead of the slash-and-burn-rape-the-earth-fuck-everybody-else-go-to-war kind of male energy that is the negative form of the positive, are a little thin on the ground these days.  .


  1. I don't know...I'm going to rant and I hope you don't mind, please forgive me...I'm speaking only for myself and my own specific wounds...but I don't really care how many men are intimidated by this kind of talk...the reason being is that it has to be a part of the healing process for women to know that men might recognize what it's like to be female and not to have a voice. Now, I'm speaking about men in general...I know there are plenty of individual men who are sensitive and kind about the inequality women have dealt with...but as a whole gender, it still needs to be said every day so that it continues to move forward.

    I was watching a movie today...Remains of the Day...and it was just such a painful reminder that less than 100 years ago, women weren't allowed to have a political opinion...everything was left to the men because they know better. Women weren't intelligent enough, they were "slave to emotion and sensitivity", unable to make a sound decision. They were the property of their fathers and husbands, and meant to be pretty to look at and not much more. This is why I'm mad...because while we have come a long ways, there is still too much of this in our culture. 

    OK, I'm done. :)

  2. Nothing to forgive.  There is no ranting here, just great comments! :)

    It's important to keep it moving forward too because that very same process is what goes in inside men also - that those who need to may recognise that they are not listening to great swathes of THEMSELVES, those parts of themselves which are more easily dismissed in favour of the stuff that's acceptable.

    And how weird.  I watched The Remains of the Day just last week.  Two days later I saw the book in a secondhand bookstore on the main street.  And now you've watched it.  Weird!!

    But yeah, good point.  Interesting in the light of this discussion to think about Anthony Hopkins' character and how unbalanced he was - not mentally, but that all those "girly emotions" were so cut off in him, when he clearly loved her.  He was reflective of the unbalanced culture around him too.

  3. Interesting observation about Mr. Stevens and how tightly restrained he was. It's ironic, almost a reversal of fortunes about how gagged and hamstrung the women of that time were. 

  4. It is so ironic as to be sort of pukey in my mouth.  

    Yeah, it just makes you gag to think about it.

    I keep thinking about a postcard I saw online a few weeks ago of a couple of suffragettes standing outside Central Park in their black clothing with placards demanding the right to vote.  It seems amazing that that was only 100 years ago.  

    But just ... I just admire those women.  How hard it must have been.  It's always hard to fight through to what isn't yet ... so easy to turn back because the forces against you feel so ... eeek, strong.

  5. I completely honor the women who went before us. They fought much tougher battles because they had NO male allies...at least we do have some. And yes, they fought a tough war and never backed down.

  6. I think you're gorgeous, Sue, and I have no problem with anything you say, ever. I'm struck dumb by the quality of your writing and your courage. Thanks, and please keep it up:)

  7. Tess Giles Marshall19 September 2011 at 02:21

    Read both this and the previous post today (with a little detour to Falstaff in between). I think the wounds run deep, on both sides. It's really been only in the last decade or so that I've been able to see men as real people, with real individuality as well as that male energy you describe. In hindsight, I can't describe a single one of the romantic relationships I've had with men as being honest or truly loving on my part, and that's a loss for all concerned.
    Although my parents gave me a great example of a loving and equal partnership, I think the negative male energy of the Christian Church had a lot to do with my subsequent attitude, plus the chauvinism of the workplace. I'm often described by one woman friend in particular as "a man's woman" and I know what she means. I find myself doing this infuriating feminine "act" when I'm with men. I hate myself for it. I don't really know what I'm saying here, just that there's so much wasted life between men and women. It's heart-breaking really.

  8. Aww, Harry, thanks :)

  9. It's so good to hear of yours and other people's real experiences, Tess.  I'm not sure if men can be fully men or women fully women without both elements working harmoniously.  If one is despised and vaunted above another, how can that be?  So much of that in the Christian Church ... bizarre when you think of its founder, eh.

    Your comment is full of wisdom and insight.  That stuff is never easily come by :)  Here's to positive male energy in all its forms, and our celebration of that - in ourselves and in others :)

  10. Well, I do think men have caused much damage in this world, but responding to this post is not why I am here. I dropped in for something else and just ran across the post. I was coming here just to let you know that Jon (Zinger) just mentioned to me in a fb book conversation, that you Sue would love, that he missed you being around on Fb. I simply responded to him with a...I miss Sue also.

    So there. There's two sensitive guys that appreciate you. 

  11. Hey Sue, I'm sorry I haven't been around but have been thinking about you often. Specially as the summer wanes to fall or spring your way. I don't know if you remember Heather from the God Journey days but I met her this summer as she was in Seattle for a Kidney Transplant. Just thought I would drop by and say your 'fucking awesome' and there are a couple of Northern Hemisphere males who miss your presence on facebook.

  12. Awww, thanks, Kent!  I miss those good FB conversations too.  I've actually reinstated FB Lite with just a handful of friends to keep in touch.  I found I was just getting way too OCD with it, checking it all the time.  But I do miss chatting to you guys :)  

  13. Hey Jon, thank you :)  Yeah, your comfortable shorts-wearing weather is coming to an end for the year, eh :)  Yes, I remember Heather.  Great to hear she finally had the kidney transplant.  Did everything go well for her?  So you guys met up in Seattle, or have you moved countries?  

    Thanks for coming by and swearing in your comments.  That's always welcome here :)

  14. I think it's natural for anyone from any gender to feel uncomfortable when the negative aspects of their gender are being talked about.  Believe me, there are many days where I hear stories that just make me embarassed to have a penis.

    The same is true for women, though.  Many men have negative memories and experiences from women in their lives as well.  I'm actually doing a series on FB this month about Domestic Violence that men experience because it is a very real yet silent problem in the states.  Not sure about everywhere else in the world because I'm lazy and haven't done the research.  :)

    But it's important to look at issues that make you uncomfortable and face them head on I think.  Doing so, in my life, is when I have grown the most.

  15. Hey there, Jon.  Thanks so much for commenting.  I had no idea you were going through what you were going through, none at all.  And I'm so glad you're tackling this issue by writing about it because it's true - women can become tyrants, just like men.  Except that they can fly under the radar more, and can be far more blind to their abuse because "Men are the tyrants.  And anyway, I'm really a victim".  But perhaps most tyrants in the world are victims-not-dealing, eh?


Newer Older