Showing posts with label the onion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the onion. Show all posts

Breaking News

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Sunday, 20 September 2009


Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

Of course the thing so ironic it's just sorta sad is how The Onion now has paid advertisements. Bastards
MYRTLE BEACH, SC—In a tragedy none have struggled to comprehend, a group of 12 schoolchildren on a whale-watching trip died in a perfectly logical manner Tuesday when their boat capsized one hour into its voyage. "How something like this could have happened—it's completely imaginable," said Coast Guard captain Don Broyard, addressing a group of reporters who were immediately able to make sense of the terrible disaster. "The way the unstable boat overturned, the powerlessness of the small children to fight against the current, the quick flooding of water into their lungs—the whole thing is so well within reason." Capt. Broyard added that the state coroner would be more than happy to give parents still uncertain of how the tragedy happened a detailed, step-by-step explanation of every fatal injury.