Some days

Sunday 10 February 2008

Some days, you have to give yourself permission over and over. It takes a while to sink in :)

I gave myself permission to go outside and sit on the grass and do centering prayer (was nice).

I give myself permission to sit on the couch all afternoon and do collages and write.

I give myself permission to watch two hours of TV this evening (ABC and SBS of course - the only stations that feed me in any way. Tonight's fare includes a show called Creative Disorders, this evening dealing with a man who had a career as a pianist which was cut short by Tourette's Syndrome, followed by Compass, one of my faves, which tonight is screening a doco filmed by a young woman documenting her 16 year old sister's visit to volunteer at Mother Theresa's in Calcutta. Maybe not mindless entertainment, but I'd prefer this version anyway :)

I give myself permission to do shit creative stuff. I was tempted to take those collage pics down this morning. They are meaningful to me but they're not, like, the calibre of Lucy's ones or anything ;) But I give myself permission to do crap collages, just like I give myself permission to write crap stories. I give myself permission to not have the faintest clue about the essay I am thinking of writing, and I give myself permission to have fun exploring that instead of thinking that it is my intellect that determines the shape of a piece.

And maybe, hopefully, sometime soon I will give myself permission to do crap drawings. But not yet.

Some days, you just crawl forward an inch on your hands and knees.


  1. keep giving yourself permission, my dear.
    and your collages are not crap!!! please don't take them down...especially the one dedicated to me :-)

    i also have to work really hard to give myself permission to believe that mine aren't crap either!! but i just keep putting them out there and somehow, some way they seem touch some others :-) as do yours!!!

  2. Aw, thanks, Lucy. They just feel so beginnerish, you know? I feel like a creative beginner so often. Maybe that never changes. Maybe it's good if it doesn't ...

    Your collages are SO not crap. I love them :)


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