Bike Pumps and Other Imponderables

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Going bike riding with a mate tomorrow around the Mount Macedon area (preferably the flat part). It's been a leetle bit long time since I last rode my bike - two years, in fact. Long enough that the tyres are completely utterly totally flat.

Last time I rode my bike, I was staying at Jane's until I found a place of my own. I rode my bike from Footscray to Williamstown, red tomato faced, puffing like Thomas, vowing I was going to ride my bike more often because dammit, it was such good cardio work and I was gonna get fit.

You can't rush these things.

In preparation for my ride tomorrow, I got out the bike pump purchased from the friendly fellows at Rays Bicycles. Should have done it earlier. The goddamn thing requires a pHD to use it. Levers, dual pumps, gauge looking thing. But does it pump air into the tyres? Only if you know the secret password, apparently. Simsalabim.

My head is as sore this evening trying to work out this pump, as my bum is going to be tomorrow after I've ridden. How embarrassing it is to trawl the internet Googling "how to use a bike pump".

This is the fault of free market capitalism, you know. If the good people at WhoeverTheBloodyHellMakesBikePumps (Aust) didn't feel like they had to add bells and whistles to a goddamn bike pump (ergonomically designed, of course, so as to add less than .00003 of a gram to the weight of your bicycle ride) so as to gain market share from the rest of the people who also make bike pumps, and I had have bought a bike pump from the rest of the people who also make bike pumps, I would have already stuck the end onto the valve, pumped my hand backwards and forwards many times, and would be now onto working out how to reattach the detachable wheel to the rest of the bike. I would have already finished wiping of the two years of accumulated dust off the bike and cleared the spiders out of the bike helmet.

Bells and whistles make a silly girl's head spin. I just want to ride my bike, dammit.


Redux. Ended up riding for three hours yesterday. I was most concerned about whether, upon awakening this morning, I'd be walking like a cowboy but thankfully, damage is minimal.

Now, that was fun. Being on a bike, instead of on my feet or in a car, the world just looks different, you know? It takes me back to being a kid again. I don't know how far we rode yesterday, but I only felt like I was going to seriously have a heart attack twice. The other 16 times I just got off the bike and lay on the ground and waited :) Cardio exercise is fun like that. There's a danger element to it :)

I seriously lack stamina, dammit. It's a humbling experience to know just how much, and to not try to push myself too hard like a moron :)


  1. ah yes, whatever happened to simplicity!??!? enjoy your ride on your newly pumped tires :-)

  2. Actually, you know what? After finally getting the tire back on last night, and realising that I needed to go to the service station to get them pumped up because they were completely flat, I have now gone the whole hog and my bike is in the bicycle shop being serviced. I haven't had it serviced before, and it looked like it needed it to me.

    And so from this whole experience I realise that I am SCARED of a bicycle, because I don't know how to put the chain back on, or hot to fix a punctured tyre. I HAVE mastered how to put the wheel back on, but the whole thing has me feeling nervous. About a bike.

    Sheesh. What a wuss I'm turning out to be :)

    (Still, might fit in a rid this afternoon after I get it back from the nice man whose fixing it all up for me so I don't accidentally ride into a tree and kill myself :)

  3. oh this post made me laugh

    we have two reasonably good hybrid bikes and two restored old bone-rattlers, and we've been so busy i think we've used them once in the past three years

    you've just reminded me that's one more job to put on the 'to do' list
    de-cobweb bikes, pump tyres, etc...

    enjoy your ride tomorrow

  4. Hey Valorosa :)

    Kel, I'm glad it made you laugh. I like to make people laugh.

    Hope that to-do list isn't too long :)


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